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The Air I Breath: Short of Breath


My calling is to lead worship – and it is up to God to say when I am to stop being a worship leader…and not any man.  I can’t be silenced from singing for God…

…oh young man, how you need to be humbled…and how wrong you are.  You see, you can be silenced from singing…

…in fact, for about the past month, I have been silenced from singing.  During the course of an illness, I haven’t been able to sing a single note – much less be able to speak much of the time.  It wasn’t until after re-reading a post I made to my personal Facebook page last Friday morning, the reason (or at least a possible lesson behind it) started to settle in:

A Turn For The Worse

It was shortly after that post that I took a turn for the worse.  The Monday before, I thought I had everything licked – my cough had gotten 95% better and I was on a double-dose of strong antibiotics and a steroid shot.  Now, only five days later…I could barely breath.  I went to an urgent care facility complaining that I couldn’t breathe.  The doctor put me on a machine to measure the amount of air going in and out of my lungs. He determined I was only getting 30-40% of what I should be getting.  On top of that – he said the sounds he was hearing in my lungs were distressed.  He gave me a breathing treatment in the office and we retook the test.  I only improved by 4%.  It wasn’t good enough for his liking and, to him, it was dangerous.  His inclination was to send me to the emergency room and have me admitted.  My stubbornness was to find an “Option Two”.

Option Two Isn’t Always The Best

I went home to my wife – who wasn’t at all pleased with my “option two mentality.”  Let’s face it…my wife has often times been the brighter bulb of my life.  She reminded me of the path I’ve been down for the past month…and how I wasn’t exactly getting better – especially if I am only getting 30-40% of the air I need.  We packed a bag – dropped the kids off with some of our friends – and headed to the hospital.

At the hospital…more tests – X-rays, IV’s, blood work, CT scans, nebulizers…the whole nine yards – it was an all nighter.  In the end…I’m armed with probably the most powerful antibiotics known, some steroids, a different type of breathing treatment to do at home, and the ability to get rid of part of the culprit – what one of the medical staff called “lots of stuff in your lungs – looks like tadpoles and lots of pollywogs living in there.”

Now, I’m not a medical expert – so I’m not sure what the “pollywogs and tadpoles” are (and, to be honest, don’t think I want to know) – but I do know one thing…

…it kept me silenced from singing for God.

…more to come tomorrow.